Just a few words that I feel compelled to get out there. The following hasn't a rhyme or reason other than I'm a living breathing God fearing husband, father, son, brother, nephew, friend, athlete and career man, mentor, coach ANNNND THAT I'm pissed off and fed up and sick and tired of all the whiny horseshit in the world today. For those losing faith in CrossFit, congratulations! You've just started a faster course to meeting your maker and you're dying now. Sound harsh? I dare you to argue with me. CrossFit is still KING. Animal walks are sustenance and that's a fact. I have an idea, go buy a fucking FIt-Bit......Orrrr don't. You feelin' me? Yeah, those are stupid. If I hear one more person talk about how many fucking steps they took over the course of a day, I swear this old man is gonna wreck the day. Here's something for the Fuck-Bit wearing hipster to consider; you've been taking those same steps every day since you learned to walk dipshit. What.....because there exists a wrist watch that does the math for you, that equates to fitness?!......stop lying to yourself. If you're not getting better you're getting worse. Fit bits don't matter unless you just like buying into bullshit that basically tells you more than you need to know. I have an idea, just cut out the sugar in your diet altogether. Nothing to track there. You're either eating shitty or you're eating clean. Anything in between is just going to lead to shitty again. Who you kidding? Another thought, stop fucking around and challenge yourself. Go into the gym and try a hard start once in awhile. What do I mean by that? This is what I mean; walk into the gym and do something that stings. Maybe a Max Effort reverse tabata for 8 intervals.....pick any movement. It'll hurt, but you'll be better for it. Don't need a fit bit to know that. Sriracha isn't fun anymore. Eat the whole egg and stop trying to tell me that the egg white is better for you.....Fuck off. Tell me what is healthy? If your argument is weak I'll let you know....that you're weak and your words are foul brush strokes of baseless bullshit. I won't gold coat it either. If you don't have your nutrition mostly wired then you'll never know. As much of a freak as I am about balancing macronutrients for my own purposes......well, let's just say that I am still working on that one. Eating is the foundation of fitness. It needs to evolve based on what YOU and YOU ALONE are requiring. Your requirements are based on activity levels, stress, sleep, overall recovery, age, etc....Western Michigan is going to the Cotton Bowl....HOLY SHIT! I just saw a big fat guy on the sideline with a Fit-Bit on. Probably doesn't need a fit bit to stop eating stupid shit. Stop whining.....Trump won and now we must embrace him. He is our President. For the record, I did NOT vote for him and that's all I have to say about that - Forrest Gump. I wish I knew how to drink alcohol better. I just don't practice enough. Johnny Depp is a dipshit and I probably am too. So? Stop moving like shit and work on the root cause of why your squat is shitty. Why do your shoulders roll forward in the bottom of a bushman pose? Talk to me and I will tell you how to fix it. Or, just keep doing stupid shit and work with an immature squat for the rest of your life and then get injured and scratch your head. Here's an idea; define the purpose for your workout....its part of the planning phase. Plan your work and work your plan. If you're missing that you're going to end up in a useless hole without anything to show for it. Set some goals. Define your purpose. Please keep in mind, you only have so much time on earth. Limited time to exist as an athlete. Limited reps. The best method I've found? Find the most minimal effective dose regarding exercise. Perform with the very best movement patterns you can muster and make the movement better. BETTER-FUCKING-PERIOD!
Something else; Be a New Species Ambassador. Say hello to every single motherfucker that walks into your gym. Don't act like some introverted nut job....it's not how we continually build our culture. Being quiet and hiding in the fucking corner is not what brought you through the doors in the first place. You started CrossFit to breakout. Nowhere else on earth, other than maybe church or an AA meeting or even a crack house will you find so many like minded individuals. Pull your car over when you have a moment and run 400 meters really fucking fast. Rest 2 minutes and repeat the cycle until you've had four total attempts. I bet it stings. You won't need a 'Fit-Bit' to tell you that. Go take a shit on your neighbors porch. It'll be a true test of how much they like you ......or not. Eating sugar is kinda' like shitting on your own porch. It's not a good thing. I know, I've done both. Deadpool is the best Marvel movie period. Be nice to people. Give to the homeless and needy. Hand warmers are cheap and they make a great holiday gift. Tell your neighbor to stop parking in front of your house or their porch will be littered with some really healthy scat. Why do southern people sound stupid. Do they think the same about mid-westerners? I know that the French sound like fucking snobs and that's why Americans and the French don't like each other....It's what I like to believe anyway. Did you know that an Egg McMuffin is almost a perfect 3 block Zone meal? No shit.
Western Michigan just went 13-0 on the season. That's cool. Should I feel dirty when I watch Sport Center? What ever happened to sideline reporters that don't look slutty on the post game college football show? My right ankle hurts but not as much as the week before. I think I've figured out why. Need to warm up feet and ankles better prior to training. Not rotating properly is another culprit. Spine surgery is NOT an alternative to getting better. Take care of thyself for your sake, your family's sake, FOR GOD'S SAKE....or just because. If someone farts in the elevator your riding on, do you ever say anything? I think you should tell said farter to keep their shit to their self....OR take a really deep demonstrative breath of air and thank them for sharing......be sure to look them square in the fucking eyes....for effect of course. Hey, there's always a way to spin a circumstance. I love New Species CrossFit. Josh is a fucking super hero with a good ghetto twist. He treats me like a real fucking human being. Let's all do that this holiday season and all year long for each other and everyone we meet. We are New Species Ambassadors. Be humble in your own way. Eat well. Stay strong. Move better. 2016 was good. LET'S MAKE 2017 even better.
PEACE - Johnny
That's the way you wrap up a fucking year! Oddly inspiring. Keep it up!
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