I am writing this on Valentine's Day 2014.
My Daughter made cupcakes today and I ate some. Well, I wouldn't call it eating. More like I pounded 4 of those pink frosted fuckers into my cake hole! I'm not sure if I was even breathing at the time they made it into my mouth. I peeled off the paper with the precision of a fellowship trained Neurosurgeon. Then.....One pink blur of crumbs and heavy breathing....and chewing..and noises...I may have even moaned..like bad porn......Ewwwww!!!!!!! I will say this, I enjoyed the living shit out of those cupcakes for two reasons; 1-my daughter made them 2-it just felt....well it felt right. But this hard turn of the wheel off the road of performance nutrition didn't end there. Approximately one lethargic hour after my fix, I ate one of those big ass Ghirardelli Chocolate bars. If it makes anyone reading this feel better, this beauty had coconut chips in it. Fuck yessss! What a fucking shit show I am. I'm not even ashamed! I know some feel I should be, but I'm not. Nope. Don't give a fuck. What proceeded shortly thereafter was me playing my guitar, very badly, as if the sugar made me go instant dumb fuck. Then.......well then I fell asleep and I even snored and drooled. I know this because I woke myself up with my own snoring and then noticed my cheek was kinda drooly, which means it was full of drool...and there was a wet spot.....on my pillow....geeZUS!!!!!!!
What the hell am I writing this for? I keep asking myself this question. I guess it just makes sense to be honest. Honest to myself, honest to those I love and honest to anyone who's amused by me little binge here. That last sentence is supposed to say "by MY little binge here". But it sounds like that little fuck Leprachaun from the Lucky Charms commercial. Lucky Charms = Sugar. Seems about my speed right now so I might as well go with it.
As I reflect on my so-called "trip and fall" today, I realize a pattern taking shape.....and I don't like it. A pattern, in this case, is the same as a routine. I don't like routine, it fucks with me. The routine I see forming is two cheat meals per week for awhile. Perhaps it's time to dial that shit down a bit. I must find a way.
Well here's my answer. As many of you know, I am a practicing Catholic and Lent begins soon. Two things go silent during Lent for me; Cheat Meals and Swearing. It's my chance to DeTox so to speak. Forty days of "locking it up". So let it be known that I swear like a fuckety fuck fucking FUCK and I like the Cheat Meal.....But as one of my coaches used to say "STOP PLAYING THE LOOSE GAME" - Translation: Get to fucking work and stop fucking up Johnny......you lazy fucking princess! In the end I'm better for it. It's a positive sacrifice for many reasons, most of which I don't discuss on this blog.
There - I feel better. I hope you do too. I hope I made you laugh. If anything good can come of this, please know NOT to do what I did today. If you do, make it rare. Look at yourself and realize that we all have the ability to make choices. Right or Wrong - live by them. Most of all - learn from them.
W.O.W. (Wod Of the Week)
This one stings a bit. I prescribed it at New Species CrossFit last Sunday. This W.O.D.is a very good prep for the 2014 CrossFit OPEN - Simple and to the point - How far can you go before time expires?
| *10 min. (+1) LADDER PROGRESSION OF: |
| Wall Ball (20/14) |
| Burpee (Standard) |
| *With a 10 minute running clock |
| *Perform 1 of each - then 2 of each - |
| then 3 ….and build until clock expires. |
Stay strong!
Peace - Johnny
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